Champaign County Children's Advocacy Center

Michael Williams, Executive Director

Parents & Clients Info

Dear Parents/Caregivers
What is the Children's Advocacy Center?
What is Child Sexual Abuse?
The Offender & Steps They Take to Access Children
What Are the Effects of Sexual Abuse on My Child?
How Should I Act Toward My Child?
How Parents Sometimes Feel When Abuse Has Been Reported
The Investigation & Facts About the Investigation
Your Team of Professionals
What Happens in Criminal Court?
What To Say To Others
Comments You Can Expect From Others About the Abuse
Related Documents

HOW SHOULD I ACT TOWARD MY CHILD?

Be patient and kind.  Provide safety, love, and support.  Allow your child to express her feelings, and let her know it is OK to cry or be mad.  Make sure your child knows it was not their fault and they are not to blame for what happened. Explain to your child that you may get mad or cry too, but make sure she always knows you are not mad at her.

Do not pressure your child to talk about the experience. If the subject comes up, discuss it honestly and openly. Answer your child’s questions to the best of your ability. Allow your child to be involved in decision making so she can regain a sense of control over her environment.

Try to return to your family’s normal routine as soon as possible. A familiar and stable routine will be very helpful for you and your child. Avoid becoming overprotective of your child. Give your child safety information, but avoid causing them to become more fearful than they already are. Help them identify safe people they can go to when they are scared or sad.

See that your child receives therapy as soon as possible. Trying to avoid the problem will usually cause more problems because it will not go away. Your child is experiencing quite a few emotions that they may not know how to deal with. They have many questions they need answered. The sooner the child gets therapy, the better they will be able to cope in the future.

This kind of experience affects the whole family. Pay attention to the needs of the other children in your home as well. Understand that it is a natural reaction for siblings to blame or resent the victimized child for disruption caused following a report of abuse. Give them the support and information they need to cope with their feelings and concerns.

Some things you can say to your child that will really help:

• I believe you.
• I know it’s not your fault.
• I’m glad I know about what happened.
• I’m sorry this happened to you.
• I will take care of you.
• I’m upset, but not with you. I’m upset at the person that did this.
• Nothing about you made this happen. It has happened to other kids too.

Revised August, 2010

If you suspect abuse, call your local police department or
the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services
at 1-800-25-ABUSE (1-800-252-2873)